Tough Day

I had a bit of a tough day today at the retreat. I never thought it could ever get to this point ... but I actually felt like just packing my bags, and heading home. Yes, I felt like quitting.

Of course, I come from the school of "You never quit". So, I am still here at the retreat.

I was wise enough to bring up my resistance with my teacher. And I must admit that she is a true spiritual master, in the way that she handled it. She got me right back on track and for the rest of the evening my head was spinning (I think it's still spinning now) as I tried to catch up. (I find that when you take huge spiritual shifts, your mind spins, sometimes to the point of nausea. It is very disorientating, and the sensation itself makes you want to quit.)

Now that the day is over I am really glad how it has all turned out. I have just learned probably the most important lesson of the entire course. As my spiritual teacher says - "it is in our darkest moments that we learn our most important lessons". So true.