Taxotere

Generally, I am not one to whinge much, and I try to make the best of most situations.

In my life I have done some challenging and scary things. I've skiid cross country marathons, I've cycled around the bay in a day (as recovery for my knee reconstruction), I've done ski touring at high altitudes, I've paddled rivers that I thought were going to eat me alive, I've ridden horses that were out of control, I've been on hikes where you keep walking till it gets dark, and maybe beyond. Endurance and I - we know each other pretty well.

Now, in my chemo treatment we have switched to a drug called Taxotere (Docetaxel) (it's part of standard procedure). Nothing, and I mean nothing in my life so far, has prepared me for Taxotere.

It's signature quality is "aches and pains". Imagine the types of aches and pains you get with the flu. Now imagine they are about 10 times worse. Yes, 10 times. The pains travel. Sometimes my legs get such pains that I am worried I might collapse. Then my foot will start hurting, then my shins. I walk like I am a cripple, because some part of my legs always hurt. And if it's not my legs, then its my stomach. The pain travels up to my arms, into my throat, down my back. When I try to drink I feel like a boa constrictor is wrapping itself around my chest. When I try to eat, food feels like shredded cardboard with sand.

And there is no relief. There is no relief when you sleep, there is no relief when you walk, there is no relief when you eat. There is no escape, and so far, there is no end in sight. This experience started at lunchtime on Thursday, and today is Saturday night. This is the longest "marathon" I've ever done.

Why bother with torture, when you have Taxotere?

You get minor improvements when you eat fruit and veggies and follow it with a walk. Or even a genlte jog. Taking the pony for a run is perfect.

And, there is a slight glimmer of hope. My husband has been experiencing some of my symptomps. Isn't that cute? Well, the truth of it is, we suspect that we have picked up a stomach flu of some sort. While my husband's experience is limited to the stomach flu only, I have no idea what to attribute to the flu and what to Taxotere - they both started affecting me on the same day.

So, there is some slight chance that my next Taxotere experience won't be as bad. And I've got two more Taxoteres to go. Because the current experience, certainly is testing even my limits!