The day before chemo 3

I'm scared. I am scared that they won't be able to find the vein, that I'll get heart palpitations, that I will put on 2kg in 2 hours. I am scared that I will have unbearable nausea afterwards. For days.

Who cares that after this session I will be half way through. Who cares about the spiritual journey. Who cares about the golden girl nurses. The long and short of it is - today I feel exceptionally good. Tomorrow, after my treatment I will feel terrible at best.

Of course, I have done enough long distance events in my life to understand the half way mark jitters. Approaching the half way mark is hard. Getting past it is even harder. And this is where I am at. And I understand this. But still, I'm scared.